Howling at the Moon

Since turning 30 (umri miaka thelathini) in Kigoma, Tanzania, traveling to visit friends and family in Uganda and upon my subsequent return flight to TZ, I do feel different. Well, it has been a long time since I sat down to write down my thoughts and feelings.

I am learning how to howl at the moon, as the neighborhood dogs do each and every night. Ok, please don’t take me literally. What I mean to say is that learning to be in the moment, unselfconsciously letting go completely, is a craft that is difficult to master. If I were not able to reign in self-critique, worry over the future, worry over the political and economic climate, worry about how I can leave my mark on the world before life is over for me, then I would not enjoy the beautiful sky over my head (replete with fuchsia sunsets), the beautiful children all around me, the shooting stars that dot the evening sky – of course when the gorgeous red moon isn’t outshining them. Kigoma is a beautiful place and I am letting go and inhaling it. Now, I could be stressed by the fact that in fact I am a professional volunteer (no pun intended as I wish for this to be my last) and I am seeking gainful employment. I am really trying to get my foot in the door through my current position. I am involved with meaningful work with potential, but I also see potential in my own life.

The full moon is out right now over all of us, and I can’t but help to reflect that we women often follow the pattern of the moon every month, and our entire lives actually mirror ancient rhythms. Birth and fullness may come to us at multiple times throughout our lifetimes. I’m discovering my own rhythm and am working desperately to have the courage to follow it.

To speak the truth, I don’t think I’m ready to return to the U.S., my home, just yet. It’s a treat to have a bit of space to reflect on ones-self and ones upbringing and to question just about everything that one has been taught about objectivity, normalcy, and factuality. I miss my family and friends deeply (I wish they would come and visit me in this place, if financially able).

I mentioned in a previous letter that a woman is nothing if not a momma--at least in the cultural context where I reside. As a bosslady I have in some small measure been elevated, in part, to momma status. Some of my employees actually refer to me as momma Christie, of course, I reply shikamoo (which is also a greeting of respect given to elders).

I truly felt like a momma, with all the accompanying stress and anxiety, when I went to visit a secondary school last month with the premise of preventing a dear young girl I know from being kicked out due to lack of school fees. I spoke to the administrators at the school and they showed me the young lady’s report card -- she is performing well, despite a couple of recent dips in grades. She is in the top ten percent among her peers. I have come to know this young lady through an organization which cares for orphans and other vulnerable children (OVC). She presented a compelling speech during the workshop we sponsored, about the value of caring for orphans to an audience of OVC service providers. I negotiated with the school that I would try to assist with some contributions on her behalf. She is a true orphan and is sometimes residing in an orphanage, sometimes with her sickly grandmother. She is industrious about seeking donors to pay her private school tuition at a respectable school. She is a third year high school student. She asked for me to include a few words on her behalf. I am asking for any donations among any in my network for Rose or for other children like her, specifically for school fees and other related expenses.

Her words:
“My name is Rose R. Mishi. I am a form three at private school which called Arch Bishop Kahurananaga Secondary School but my future plan I will be a doctor, now I perform good in my subject because I needs to depends after in my life and I like at next time to help others who have a problems like me or who is a orphan like me. My mother was already dead and also father.

But I like for you to continue me our education for helping the schools fees and other problems like clothes of school and shoes because I need to study up to university help me and my combination is scientist.

I am orphan I haven’t mother and father but the grandmother who help me for school fees last time now was sick. Sugar disease but can fail to educated me. But the school fees is 200,000. I like to help me. Thanks.
Your obey
Rose R. Mishi
God bless you.”

If anyone is interested in sponsoring a child or an organization directly caring for children please let me know. Thank you.

I am working hard with my current interns to develop a marketing tool for the indigenous and local organizations who are directly caring for OVCs. Specifically I am drafting a web site to feature a listing of all providers and their respective areas of expertise, but also would include those that orgs. that need donations and technical support. In this respect I am also devising a curriculum with content about transparency, budgeting, report writing, and soliciting donations and grants for the service providers.

If anyone is interested in supporting such an activity in any form, please feel free to contact me.

In fact, I am very much interested in conducting some ethnographic research in the community of service providers to OVC—namely, why do they do it? Or, what is their inspiration. As I have been going around the community and meeting various service providers I see a common theme emerging. All of them are charismatic, at least enough so to aggregate community donations and occasional sponsors from larger international agencies, or more commonly, from the aid workers themselves. This is no easy feat. Imagine getting local church patrons who themselves are living in near or abject poverty, for instance, to contribute a shilling or two to care for orphans who are unrelated to them. When I ask these persons, what is it that inspired you to start this organization, frequently I hear more or less, that the person noticed that their community was plagued by homeless children, women begging for school fees, especially after the death of the husband, women being abandoned by their husbands, etc. This gap encouraged creativity among these leaders to address these problems via, often, rallying peers and neighbors to assist them. These organizations are subsequently plagued with common challenges. The external support dwindles or ceases completely, but the rent for the office space continues and the community continues to drop children off at your door. Yesterday, I heard a great story from one such founder of a local organization. He is a pastor and said that he was on his way to preach somewhere early one morning at 5AM when he got caught in a rain shower. He was surprised to see children emerging from the sewage drains as they were now inundated with rainfall. He thought, how can I as an elder help these children?

Some of you have mentioned to me that you would like to be of assistance to vulnerable children here. Please do contact me about how you can.I have many other things to write about but I will save them for a later time.Please do keep in touch!

Love,
Christie

Originally posted: Friday, August 7, 2009 at 2:41pm